STAY, in the Breath

letters from a writer & photographer's journey

The Liminal Space of a Woman with Child

When you transition from knowing your own writing voice only within the confines of personal journal pages and letters to family and friends out into the public domain, you wonder what it will be like. I’m only a couple of years into this experiment and here’s what it is like for me: freedom.

I’d written an article or two over the years that reached beyond my personal sphere but nothing like this last year. It feels vulnerable too, but that feeling pales in comparison to the joy of finding my walking legs after the work of crawling. The sense of freedom only enlarges when…

A Choice: A Prayer

It was the middle of the night. One of the little one’s had a potty accident. Walking and working with my eyes barely slit open, I had this hope that if I didn’t open them any further, somehow, that would make them easier to close again just as soon as I could get my head back to my pillow. I didn’t want any big thoughts here, just: get it done, go back to sleep. Sometimes it works, but not this night…

An Artist’s Leap, Or Fail?

Five years ago, we lost: job, home, baby and for almost a year and a half—each other. My husband needed work and no one in his industry was hiring close to home. He took a job out-of-state, we put a sign in the front yard and started off on our new adventure, with five kids in tow. But renting in one state and owning a house that would not sell in another didn’t work long term, it hit its limits.

So, Jay stayed where the work was, to provide for us financially, and the kids and I went back to our old house, one state and a million miles away. I made a deal with Jay…

From Choking to Song

The laboring woman knows how the pain comes in waves. She knows the transcendent way they wash over—wash through—her. She knows they bear tidings of gift and soon the gift itself. Yet the way they come! Such tumult at times that stirs the blood to one of two things: Wild trust or wild fear. Two, so same and so different all at once, it could make us wonder how both.. Read More

The Truth About the Day

Yeah, it’s true. I laughed out my nose when the three year old lunged across the table to steal food from his older brother’s plate deft like a praying mantis after it’s cricket. Seriously—the way he moved was impressive and spontaneous and I could NOT help it.   Yeah, it’s true, I sighed at first when: 8 year old: “mommy.” me: “just a minute, I’m in the middle of a.. Read More

All I Gotta Do

All I gotta do is share publicly about my prayer life to be driven to my knees. All I gotta do is talk about my kids’ relationships with each other to begin to feel desparate that they’ll never talk to each other once grown. All I gotta do is try and I’ll be sure to face a challenge. It’d be easier not to but, “You must do the thing you.. Read More

To Dwell: A Prayer

“The essence of a thing is always elusive, hidden. The dream of art and prayer is to come nearer, even to slip through to dwell for awhile…” ~ John O’Donohue, Beauty the Invisible Embrace

Wonder that Overcomes, (Siblings) Part 3

It would be too simple to say or think that all I do as a parent to nurture my children through the wilderness of sibling relations is head for the woods. Yet it is a very powerful, meaning filled way I can put feet on my prayers. And it’s not just for the kids, it’s for me too. Maybe me most of all? It’s at that mind numbing point (I.. Read More

Wonder that Overcomes, (Siblings) part 2

In my last post, I began with speaking about the complicated-ness of sibling relationships. So what’s wonder got to do with overcoming that? Brother/sister-hood, our children’s and our own, it’s heavy with glory—a target of great worth. I’m trying lately to remember Beauty in the quiet places I can steal away. I know that the stories of wonder planted deep into our world, and deep within us, can emerge. I.. Read More

Wonder that Overcomes (Siblings) Part 1

Brothers. Sisters. Siblings. Relationships It’s gotten to be a sticky concept in many of our families. As I watch our own tribe grow, I see all the opportunities brother/sister hood has—to go bad. It’s the little things, the hurts that don’t get reconciled, or even noticed. It’s the challenge of knowing the worst parts of someone, or even worse than that—being known. It takes brave souls to live in that.. Read More