We went kite flying this past week as we celebrated two birthdays in our family, an eighteenth and a twelfth! My mama heart is all wowowowowow. In all the fullness I’ve been watching a strand of meaning I’m grateful to get to share with you all today…
There’s a risk in letting go. If you release you realize.
If you extinguish lies you have to face truth.
If you talk to yourself in kindness long enough you’ll have to reckon with your goodness
and from where it came.
If you speak to yourself in only harshness one day the bill comes due and you see it was all fear and no truth.
If you want to play with fire, yes, eventually you’ll get burnt.
Will it be worth it? Only if you let it burn truly, not just for looks.
There’s a risk in letting go. What will be left?
There’s a risk in no longer controlling you or me.
Who wants to stay in a place that has been both pain and sorrow?
Will love bind us to something greater than fear, both spoken and swallowed, if we let go of it all?
Will we let Love teach us the way to sink our roots deep into the deeps?
Will we learn this steadiness as the way to use these wings we were born with?
A DAVID PRAYER—WHEN HE WAS IN THE CAVE.
I cry out loudly to GOD, loudly I plead with GOD for mercy.
I spill out all my complaints before him, and spell out my troubles in detail:
As I sink in despair, my spirit ebbing away, you know how I’m feeling, Know the danger I’m in, the traps hidden in my path.
Look right, look left— there’s not a soul who cares what happens! I’m up against it, with no exit— bereft, left alone.
I cry out, GOD, call out: ‘You’re my last chance, my only hope for life!’
Oh listen, please listen; I’ve never been this low. Rescue me from those who are hunting me down; I’m no match for them.
Get me out of this dungeon so I can thank you in public. Your people will form a circle around me and you’ll bring me showers of blessing! ~Psalm 142
As a tree in Spring dresses itself with beauty, with flowers, to attract pollinators—to progress the work of life—so does Truth dress itself in beauty for its own sake, to progress the work of life. We do not need to fear the beauty of life nor should we draw back when the awe-full reality of that beauty is fully discovered in our own nakedness. We are made for this substantiality, destined for this revelation, designed for this altitude.
“The eternal God is your dwelling place, and underneath are the everlasting arms…” ~Deuteronomy 33:27
We need not be afraid but I too feel the precariousness and perilousness of letting go… I feel the uncertainty and temptations toward shame in the place of unknowns… I too must remember how the prize is better than the price, that the journey through is worthy of our blood, sweat, and tears. When the dangers threaten I am remembering with you how nothing is wasted when offered to Love Himself.
I ponder the escape routes and wonder at all perseverance will cost. No, more than that, choosing to trust that keeping my hand to the plow will bring more bounty than can be explored or explained has cost me everything.
Truth has been and will be disguised—sometimes in beauty, sometimes in naked raw life, asking us to seek It. Today I pray to never forget.
A David Psalm:
Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit? to be out of your sight?
If I climb to the sky, you’re there! If I go underground, you’re there!
If I flew on morning’s wings to the far western horizon,
You’d find me in a minute— you’re already there waiting!
Then I said to myself, “Oh, he even sees me in the dark! At night I’m immersed in the light!”
It’s a fact: darkness isn’t dark to you; night and day, darkness and light, they’re all the same to you.
~ Psalm 139:7-12
One of my practices this month to both tie and release myself to the myriad paradoxes and wisdom of Love, is in spending time with this beloved poem (below) each day. I invite you to spend time with it as well. Let me know if you do? I’d love to hear any of your reflections.
Truly I wonder and am eager to see what could come from dwelling on the form of love, what will it fashion and shape inside of us? Though it be wrought with danger…
On Love, by Khalil Gibran
…When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself
He threshes you to make your naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.
But if in your heart you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, “God is in my heart,” but rather, “I am in the heart of God.”
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.
It’s the biblical month of Iyar, this is a continuation of my meditations on the theme and nuances of healing this month. Though difficult to quantify, I believe I have found healing most in the things that I have released more than in the things I have kept. Thank you friends, always, for being here, for sharing, for your reflections, for you.
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I’m a sojourner in the majestic Pacific Northwest wonderland with my husband and six children. As an author and photographer I am sharing as I go, because we need each other.
A song for you…
Let the Word of Messiah ”the Message” have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives, words, actions, whatever, be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.
~Colossians 3:16 & 17
This post is beautifully written and true. This last Parsha (Torah reading) dealt with two men who fought. They fought, and one of the men cursed the Name. We discussed what this might mean because shortly after, G reiterates how life for life measure for measure works. The portion can be understood that part of the cursing was taking a life. So, I looked up what “curse” means. In short, it means to lessen, to decrease. So, we discussed the possibilities: he reduced G’s name, or he cursed, in word or killing, the other man (since man was made in G’s image, this curse fell back on G). Either way, the point is that somehow G’s Name was lessened in the altercation. But, it appears that death may have happened (Lev 21-24). That got us talking about cursing ourselves and how that lessens us. How in saying bad things to ourselves, we not only curse ourselves but also the image-maker. The point, of this long comment, is that love isn’t only for the other. When we love we increase Love.
Thanks for writing this and for living it Jay.