It was the middle of the night. One of the little one’s had a potty accident. Walking and working with my eyes barely slit open, I had this hope that if I didn’t open them any further, somehow, that would make them easier to close again just as soon as I could get my head back to my pillow. I didn’t want any big thoughts here, just: get it done, go back to sleep. Sometimes it works, but not this night…
Five years ago, we lost: job, home, baby and for almost a year and a half—each other. My husband needed work and no one in his industry was hiring close to home. He took a job out-of-state, we put a sign in the front yard and started off on our new adventure, with five kids in tow. But renting in one state and owning a house that would not sell in another didn’t work long term, it hit its limits.
So, Jay stayed where the work was, to provide for us financially, and the kids and I went back to our old house, one state and a million miles away. I made a deal with Jay…
Empty hands, or only a few loaves, and fish, a little oil, a grasping, flailing hope to touch the hem of his garment in the midst of long suffering…He makes it enough. It is not our thing-nesses that we can bring, it is not our own enough-ness that makes it work. It is faithfulness that says “here’s what I’ve got”, and “here’s what I don’t got”, but I press.. Read More
It’s here! The hush of the evening after a brimming-with-life day aaaand!! the second edition of my first book came in the mail! I didn’t say much about it this summer. There’s been so much happening and much to learn I hardly knew where to begin, but I’m excited to unpack a little at a time this journey, tell you more about what I’ve been learning and all the good.. Read More
Another week is beginning, how’s our hearts? Those hurts that came, that come and come again in different ways, but sometimes feel the same? I’ll always hold on to a simple whisper that literally changed my life a few years ago. Imagine me in the kind of pain where you curl up on the floor and ugly cry, “This is too hard, too hard!”… And then—so simply, “It’s suppose to be.” Lord,.. Read More
The laboring woman knows how the pain comes in waves. She knows the transcendent way they wash over—wash through—her. She knows they bear tidings of gift and soon the gift itself. Yet the way they come! Such tumult at times that stirs the blood to one of two things: Wild trust or wild fear. Two, so same and so different all at once, it could make us wonder how both.. Read More
Sometimes as a writer, you feel the words form on your tongue before you even understand the sentence end or point. You just start moving the pen, pressing the keys… Then—there it is. It comes. It’s what you needed like that touch you wait for from your lover and now you have it. You fill. Is this anything less than miracle? The words that come are not for us alone,.. Read More
“What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.” ― Mother Teresa It would be a fool’s way to come to the end of my day despising the little things, the little ways. But I do. It would be a sorry sin to say, “no thank You” to the adventure of diaper changing, feet washing, tear kissing or frigidair stocking, thinking somehow an adventure “out there”.. Read More
“There is a realm of time where the goal is not to have but to be, not to own, but to give, not to control but to share, not to subdue but to be in accord.” —Architecture of Time in The Sabbath by Abraham Joshua Heschel I was dreaming awake last night of these things. Today I feel I am sleep walking awake trying to hold onto them. I hope.. Read More
Our hands are busy. I know that. I get it. But we’ve all got time. Time to stop. Time to act. Time to return. We’ve all got today. Time to remember. And time to see what is present. I know it often feels like we don’t know what we can do. Little us. Especially us moms. Our hands. Our times. Our lives. Spoken for. But it is in THAT that.. Read More